Dear Dr. Collins (et
al):
I cannot thank you
enough for all that you do for the impoverished, broken, and voiceless.
I thank everyone
within the NationalGALalert circles for the pro-active stance that has opened doors
once thought closed.
Our family's case is
literally "killing" my almost 16 year-old daughter; that was her
description - just yesterday - of how the numerous adversarial & prolonged
family court procedures have adversely effected her.
At present, she is
being held against her will within her dad's home: the GAL failed to hear her
pleas of wanting desperately to move back in with her mother {me} .
Additionally, the 2014 court order legally permits her father from allowing her
visitation with her mother {me}.
The last GAL failed
us on several occasions submitting an 18 page report filled with subjective
information - mostly inaccurate & malicious information -- provided to her
by my former husband.
The system has
failed our family in 2009-2010 and in 2012 to present: both of us parents have
considerable legal debt.
I am still in shock
over the final judgment given to me just 2 days after I appeared in Portland
(01/14/2104) to testify that I have been unable to contact Mary Ann Lynch via
email.
I know both myself
and my daughter suffer from a form of PTSD as a result of the on-going
post-divorce conflict initiated by my former husband but fanned and fueled by
those within the divorce industry.
Those who want to
point fingers can point to my former husband or to me BUT the truth is, my
former husband would not have been able to succeed in financially impoverishing
me without the support of the divorce industry.
Collectively, our
family has lost so much; the most tragic loss -- something that cannot be
replaced -- is my young daughters childhood. Both teens suffer separately and
differently from the conflict that results from drawn-out and highly
contentious court proceedings.
Conflict is all that
she knows / they know; the divorce industry knowingly or unknowing gave my
former husband positive reinforcement every time he sought legal counsel to
take me back to court -- twice since our original 2006 divorce.
Each consecutive
court process took twice as long as the prior and the costs involved doubled
from the previous process. I was just getting out of legal debt from the
2009-2010 process when my former took us back to court in 2012. That process
lasted 18 plus months and cost me over $20,000 when I only earned $10,000 in
2012 and $12,000 in 2013 (I was a full-time USM student until this past May).
Presently, my debt
is so astronomical that that my ability to pay court ordered child support
{calculated - mind you - on a salary
that I did not actually earn} has been greatly hindered: how is any of this in
the best interest of either teen? Or, the Maine tax payers? Or, to our
society???
As a result of the
collusion between the divorce industry and my former husband, my daughter has
fallen deeper and deeper into a depressions; she has twice attempted to end her
life {May and September of 2013}.
Maine care has
picked up all of the costs for her medical care. Maine tax payers are footing
the bill and , we as a society, are potentially losing a once energetic,
civic-minded, and highly accomplished student to a major depression and
self-harming behaviors both beginning after she was taken out of my home in
2010 and placed in the care of her dad.
I suggest that the
mayor and the divorce industry consider a "Truth and Reconciliation
Act" in order to acknowledge the pain and suffering that has taken place
-- for decades upon decades -- as a result of such a broken system.
Since 2006, I have
suffered - as well as the two minors -- enormous losses:
1. Loss of primary
home in 2010;
2. Loss of $100,000
equity in that primary home (2012 York, Maine);
3. Loss of all
material possessions sold off to pay down legal debt;
4. Loss of family
pet as former husband adopted the dog out of the family once he was granted
custody of both minors and their dog in 2010.
5. Decrease in
credit score by 100 points due to inability to pay mortgage on primary home
when former spouse was advised- by his lawyer-
to stop making child support payments in order to force me into signing
2010 post-judgment agreement;
6. Loss residential
custody of both teens due to loss of primary home (temporarily left homeless);
7. Loss 1/2
retirement fund in 2010 court process to pay GAL, legal fee's and mortgage
payments;
8. Loss all of
savings to date; accrued credit card debt is now equal to my 2013 annual
salary; loss all assets with exception to my vehicle that allows me to travel 3
hours a day to my full-time job;
9. Loss ALL parental
rights and responsibilities and all decision making powers due to erroneous GAL
report and due to her recommendation that losing all rights would end conflict;
10. Loss visitation
rights as all visitation is now up to the discretion of my former husband who
has been the instigator for all post-judgment discord;
11. The stress and the conflict has interfered with my work
at present, has created ongoing and extensive medical expenses, and has left
our daughter suicidal as well as feeling hopeless about her future;
12. The scars left
on the hearts of my two teenagers as well as myself may or may not ever heal;
time will tell. There is nothing more psychologically harmful than to lose the
right to parent: from 1996 until 2014, I gave my life to my children. I intended
and strove to raise well-adjusted, law abiding, and well-educated young adults.
That right has been taken from me; the family court system partook in that loss
of civil liberties.
The time for healing
is now.
Please allow those
of us who have to live with these court ordered "solutions" to family
matters be a part of the solution for creating a system that heals and supports
healthy family relations rather than a system that fuels the flames of discord
in order to "win" a case; we have a vast amount of anecdotal
information that would be an invaluable resource for those who are truly vested
in the well-being of Maine's children and in the health and welfare of the
state of Maine as a whole.
With sincere
gratitude for your time and consideration~
Suzanne
YDC-FM-06-XX
Former resident of
York Maine
Present Maine tax
payer
Social Justice
Advocate
This letter was
written to the courts and state government and came about as a result of the
post "A Maine Commission to Assess the Impact of Divorce and Custody on
Maine Children and Families". To read the letter to Gov. Paul LePage
follow this link.
For more information
please contact us at NationalGALalert@gmail.com or find us on Facebook.
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